Because I Couldn't Have You
by ChiakiAngel
Summary: Raphael makes a mistake he's not sure he can fix. Raph/Mikey, Don/Leo, One Sided Raph/Leo     THIS IS A ONE SHOT. Sorry. :


WARNING TURTLECEST, DON'T LIKE DON'T READ

Pairing: Raph/Mikey, Leo/Don, One-Sided Raph/Leo

Rating: PG-13

Inspired By: Ajara's "Where Turtles Dare"

* * *

Raphael lightly rubbed Mikey's cheek, the sleepy turtle's head was against his chest. He stared down at his youngest brother, his thoughts elsewhere at the moment. He imagined that he was holding someone else, and he couldn't help but frown at himself. Mikey was his mate, he shouldn't be thinking that right now.

"Raph?" Blue eyes looked up at the older turtle, questions filling them. "Is something wrong?"

"No Mike, everythin's fine." Raph smirked slightly before turning his eyes up to the ceiling.

"'Kay." Mikey snuggled his head back against his brother's chest and closed his eyes.

* * *

Morning came and found all four brother's at the kitchen table. Leo turned his attention over to their resident brainiac, affection poorly hidden in his chocolate depths.

Donatello caught the gaze and offered his brother a smile. "Good morning Leo."

"Morning Don." Leonardo leaned back in his chair and gave Don a smile in return.

Michelangelo snickered. "You guys are so obvious, I don't even know why you try to hide it. We're not dumb."

Don's face flushed at the comment, and he turned his eyes towards his younger brother. "Mikey!"

"What?" Mikey shrugged and rocked back in his chair. "It's true."

Raph's eyes narrowed. "Ya don' need ta announce it ya know."

Mikey blinked over at his brother, confusion poorly hidden, "What does it matter?"

Leonardo sighed. "You don't exactly go around announcing that kind of thing Mikey."

"And I'm saying we all know, so what does it matter?" Mikey frowned, clearly not understanding what the problem was. It wasn't like it was a huge secret that Leo and Don were together. It was just like how everyone knew that he and Raph were together.

"Ya don' get it Mike, do ya? We all know were together, don' need ya announcin' it." Raph butted in.

"It's something people like to keep private Mikey, okay?" Donatello gave his younger brother a small smile.

Michelangelo shrugged but nodded, "Fine."

There was one thing bugging him though. Why was Raph getting so defensive about it? It was like he didn't want everyone's relationships announced, which was strange, because he was so proud. You'd think he'd _want _everyone to know about who he was with.

"Well, I'll start on breakfast." Leo smiled and made to stand up, but was abruptly shoved back into his seat.

"No! It's okay! I'll do it." Mikey's wide blue eyes met his. "I'd rather _not_ die from food poisoning."

He laughed at his brother's expression, and pulled back into his own seat, removing his hands from Leo's shoulders. He hopped out of the chair and made his way over to the fridge.

Leo had crossed his arms, "I'm not _that _bad of a cook."

"Yeah, right. Considerin' ya blew up the microwave by puttin' tin foil in it." Raphael snorted, amusement in his amber eyes.

"How was I supposed to know that you can't put that in the microwave?" Leo directed an offended glare at his immediate younger brother.

Muffled laughter could be heard, and Leo's eyes moved towards Don's shaking figure. "What?"

"I'm sorry Leo, but I _told _you not to put it in there, and you _still _did. It was obvious that something was going to happen." Don's mouth quirked up into an amused grin.

Leo leaned back against the chair in defeat. "Yeah, whatever Donnie." He had his own small grin, and he looked over at Don, the grin growing. "If you say so."

Raphael snorted, his eyes narrowing in annoyance. Leo's head snapped back over to him. "Raph, is something wrong?"

Raph blinked, not realizing that Leo had seen. "A-ah… nothin's wrong."

Leo frowned. "Alright…" He turned his eyes back to Don.

"And breakfast is served!" Mikey laughed as he came bounding back into the kitchen, plates supported on both arms. He set one down in front of each of his brother's, before taking his own seat.

The plate was filled with bacon and eggs, and a piece of toast. "Dig in guys." Mikey smiled and started to eat his meal.

"Thanks Mike." Donnie smiled in gratitude before he started on his own food.

"Yeah, thank you Mikey." Leo gave his brother a nod of thanks before he began to eat.

Raphael grunted his own thanks, his mouth already full of food. Mikey was a really good cook.

* * *

Leonardo shifted forward, throwing a punch at an invisible enemy. Once he landed on his foot, he moved, throwing his leg in to a side kick. His breathing was slow and even as he worked through his kata, his mind focused.

He could feel a slight prick in the back of his mind, as if someone was watching him. He shrugged it off, knowing it was only one of his brothers. He knew they'd get bored sooner or later.

He brushed the staring eyes out of his thoughts, and returned to his kata, focusing his mind once more.

* * *

Eyes watched Leo move, trailing over the muscles that glistened in sweat. This pillar of perfection was his, and he would make sure that Leo knew it. "You're mine Leo… you just wait."

The quiet figure turned and left, making the turtle in the dojo relax a little, now that the eyes were no longer penetrating into his back.

* * *

Leo sighed and stretched his arms above his head, finished with his extra training for the day. He turned towards the empty door way, a slight frown on his face. He could have sworn he'd felt someone watching him the entire time, but they hadn't stepped forward, so he didn't know who it was. He shivered slightly in remembrance.

"Leo!"

Said turtle looked up as his youngest brother came barrelling in, sliding to a stop behind him. "Mikey, what are yo-…"

"Get back 'ere ya lil' snot!" Raph came in seconds later.

Leo sighed. "Forget I asked."

Raphael stopped, his eyes trailing to the figure that his behind his older brother. "Mikey, Leo ain't gonna protect ya, so get out from behind 'im."

Mikey stuck his tongue out. "Nyah!"

Fists clenched as Raph growled, his eyes narrowing.

"What did Mikey do now Raph?" Leo rubbed his forehead in annoyance, this being a daily occurrence.

"He bejewelled my weights." Raph's eyes darkened in annoyance.

Leo reached behind him, pulling out a protesting Michelangelo. "He's all yours, here." He shoved the younger turtle forward before turning and walking away. He wasn't dealing with this.

He heard the yelp, and then the pleads for mercy. Those two were just perfect for each other.

* * *

"Movie night!" Mikey squealed in excitement, hopping over the couch and landing in the spot he'd designated as his.

Donatello chuckled in amusement at his younger brother's antics. "Really Mikey, why are you so excited? It's just a movie. Moving pictures."

"Dude, you make it sound so boring." Mikey gave Don an incredulous look. "What's _not _to be excited about?"

"That's not answering my question." Don sighed in exasperation and took a seat in the chair.

Minutes later, Raph and Leo came in, the previous with popcorn bowl in hand. "What're we even watchin'?"

"Only the best movie in the world." Mikey boasted, a large grin on his face.

Leo took a seat to the right of Mikey, "And what would that be?"

Raphael snorted in amusement and took the seat to the left of his brother. "Probably some stupid lil' kid movie."

Mikey gave Raph a glare. "No! It's called 'Dark Knight'!"

"Dark Knight? What the shell is that?" Raph frowned.

Mikey grinned. "Actually, I don't know. April rented it and told me to watch it. So you're all going to watch it with me."

Raph groaned. "Great. It better not be a chick flick." He despised those kinds of movies, they were just stupid.

Leo shrugged. "Well, April was nice enough to rent it for us, so the least we can do is check it out."

"You're right." Don smiled. "Put it in Mike."

Mikey hopped up off the couch and hit play. "Already done."

The TV flickered to life as the previews started to play. Raph slid down in his seat, resigning himself to something that sounded like it should be shoved in a closet.

* * *

"That was great!" Mikey jumped up off the couch at the end, an ecstatic grin on his face. He turned to his older brother. "What did you think Raph?"

His eyes danced in excitement. He just knew that Raph would like it!

"Eh… it was alright. It's stupid that he gave himself up at the end to be the enemy. He's supposed to be the hero, he shouldn't be getting chased around. What an idiot." Raph frowned and pushed himself off the couch.

Mikey's excitement dwindled. "Come on Raphie, I know th-"

"Don't call me that Mike." Raph turned tired eyes to his brother, a frown on his face. "And what do you know? I don't like stupid movies, you'd think that you would know that."

"Sorry…" Mikey frowned, hurt flashing in his eyes.

"Don't take it the wrong way Mikey, jeeze." Raph sighed and walked by, patting the younger turtle on the shoulder, before heading towards his room.

Leo stood up. "It was alright Mikey, I'll go and talk to him, okay?"

Mikey nodded. "Alright." He offered Leo a smile. "I'm just going to play some games for a bit."

His bright grin was back.

Donatello just shook his head. "I've got some projects to work on, so I'm going to turn in to my lab for the night, alright?"

Both Leo and Mikey nodded, and the brainiac disappeared into the room he'd designated as his lab.

"Good night Mikey, don't stay up too late, alright?"

Mikey grinned. "Don't worry Leo, I won't. Weren't you going to go and talk to Raph? You might want to do it before he gets all grumpy."

"Alright." Leo gave his youngest brother a small smile before he turned and followed after his hot headed brother. Raphael took things the wrong way sometimes, and he got so angry. He really hoped that Raph would learn to control it.

He stopped in front of Raph's door and rapped his knuckles against it three times.

"Go away Mikey, I don't want to talk." The disgruntled voice came through the door.

Leo sighed. "It's not Mikey, it's me Raph."

The door opened, and Raph looked down at his older brother. "What do you want?"

"Can I just talk to you?" Leo raised his brow in question, his arms crossed.

Raphael frowned and stepped aside, letting his brother in. Once Leo was inside, he closed the door.

Leo glanced at the door, but shrugged it off as Raph being moody like usual. "Raph, I think you hurt Mikey's feelings down there. He just wanted to get a movie that you would like."

"Look Leo, I don't need a lecture." Raph glared at his brother, crossing his own arms.

Leo frowned and rubbed his forehead in frustration. "I'm not trying to give you a lecture Raph, I'm just saying that you hurt him."

"He takes things to serious anyways." The voice sounded alarmingly close, and Leo's head snapped up, eyes widening. "Rap-!"

Leo's mouth was covered as Raph placed his lips over Leo's, claiming them in a kiss.

He tore away, eyes wide. "Raph! What're you doing!" he hissed, eyes narrowed.

"What does it look like Fearless?" Raph stepped closer, his arms trapping Leo against the wall.

Leo frowned, leaning further into the wall as Raphael leaned in. "I ever tell ya how beautiful yer eyes are?"

"Get off of me Raph, now." Leo's eyes were narrowed in anger.

"I think not." Raphael smirked, gripping Leo's chin and pulling him into another kiss. He pulled away, and rested his mouth near Leo's ear. "Yer mine, not Don's."

Leonardo growled and shoved his brother off of him, standing stiffly. "No Raph, don't touch me. What about Mikey, huh? He's your mate, what would he do if he knew you were trying for me?"

Raph frowned from his place on the floor, and mumbled something unintelligible.

"What was that?" Leo kept watchful eyes on his brother.

"I said that I'm only with Mikey because I can't have you. You're the one that I fell for first. You paired off with Don, so all that I had left was Mikey." Raph looked away, his angered form from before having just deflated.

Leo blinked, his eyes going wide. "Raph! That's horrible, if Mikey were to hear you say that, do you know what would happen? You've got to be kidding me, right? Tell me that you're just pulling a nasty prank, and that Mike is in on it."

"I'm not kidding." Raph glared at the floor.

"If you don't love Mikey, then you have to tell him Raph. You can't just keep leading him on! He loves you!" Leo took on a defensive stance, the reality of the situation hitting him hard.

"An' what am I supposed ta say Leo? Huh?" Raph turned burning eyes up to his brother.

"How about the truth!" Leo was glaring at his brother now, not believing that he'd done something so horrible.

Raph growled and pushed himself to his feet and stormed towards the door. He swung the door open, his eyes focused on Leo, "Get out."

Leo turned, but stopped, his face going pale. "Mikey…"

Raph's own eyes widened and he turned to the door, seeing his younger brother at the door. "Mikey, I can ex-"

"Don't." The voice was small, and Mikey's head was turned down. "You don't need to explain anything. The only reason you're with me is because you couldn't have Leo."

There was a choked sob, and Mikey turned his eyes up, betrayal and hurt shining through. "Is that why anything I do is wrong? Were the words you whispered to me lies then? When you told me that you loved me?"

Raph didn't know what to say, his throat closed in shame and guilt.

"Raph!" Mikey looked at his brother, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Answer me!"

Raphael remained silent, frozen at the sight of his brother's face covered in tears.

Another sob tore through Mikey.

Leo broke out of his shock and stepped forward. "Mikey…"

"Leo, please, don't." A whine of pain escaped Mikey's mouth and he turned and ran to his bedroom, slamming and locking the door behind him.

Leo whirled around his eyes narrowed. "I can't believe you Raph. You told him that you loved him! Why would you lead him on like that!"

He was angry, not believing that Raphael could be so cruel. "I'm floored, I don't even know what to say to you."

He turned and stomped out of the room, needing to talk to Don.

Raphael remained in his door way.

* * *

Raphael shifted in his bed, his eyes focused on the wall. His arm fell on empty space, and an ache shot through his heart. This wasn't right, Mikey should be here. He wanted his mate.

He frowned at the thought. Why was he thinking that Mikey should be here? Why not Leo? Isn't that what had started this in the first place?

He couldn't believe himself, and the more and more that he thought of it, the more and more that it shocked him. He went over every little encounter in his mind. His interactions with Mikey hadn't changed after they'd mated, they'd remained the same. Little brother annoying older brother.

He closed his eyes, hearing words play over in his head.

'_I love you Mikey.' 'I love you too Raphie. You promise to love me forever?' 'I promise. I'll never hurt you.' 'I know Raphie, I trust you.'_

He choked on his own sob, his eyes wide and staring at the wall. He'd broken his promise, and the only reason that he'd made that promise in the first place…

"I love Mikey…" He couldn't believe himself. He'd gotten so caught up in the fact that he was only with Mikey because he couldn't have Leo, that he'd completely missed the fact that he'd fallen in love with his youngest brother.

He was a complete idiot. He'd lost the one thing that he'd actually had.

Raph curled in on himself, an angry growl tearing through him. How could he have been so stupid! He had to make it right.

But how…?


End file.
